Time

okay, I'll admit it, I have a small obsession with time.
No it is not incredibly unhealthy, but quite enough to be annoying. I know it is 10:42 right now, I know that in about a minute it'll be 10:43, but that doesn't stop me from adverting my eyes to the bottom right of my screen about ever twelve seconds. There is nothing happening for the rest of the day, it completely does not matter what time it is, but it still doesn't stop me from needing to know the time.
I'll also admit I still have a hard time reading clocks. No one really reads this blog anyway, so therefore, these confessions are mostly for myself and Jane, and so I don't really care if Jane knows I have trouble reading clocks. It's not that I'm completely stupid. but I don't know if I could tell you whether it was the big hand or the little hand that signified the hour. I know I should take time out of my life to make sure to learn how to read a simple clock, but in this crazy lazy land we call America, my need to ever learn how to read a legitimate clock is becoming less and less.
My constant need to know the time also extends to like dates and stuff. I will probably count up nine times tomorrow that school starts in four weeks. four weeks exactly. only four more Mondays. 28 days. Thomas comes home in 17 days, which is two weeks and three days. but did I mention that the same amount of time that it will take for school to start is the amount of time since I came home from youth conference.
I have a need to be on time. No I don't die if I'm 10 minutes late to some random get-together, but I enjoy being punctual. I like being early in fact. It's comforting to know that I won't be late to practice ever if I'm always 10 minutes early. I think being on time for things is important, but I can't say I think lesser of someone for being 5 minutes late to a meeting of sorts, because I do it all the time, but when people are consistently hugely late, that begins to irk me.
I also hate waking up before my alarm clock, whether it's a minute or an hour, it drives me up the wall that I just wake up before it goes off. I set my clock for a reason. I want to wake up at 6:30, not 6:28, not 5:31, but 6:30. Not necessarily because I want the extra sleep, but because I want to be sure my body is trained to wake up at the sound of the alarm, not the time, because when I need to wake up at a different time during the school year I don't want my body to think it's acceptable to wake up at 6:24 when I need to be at school at 7:00. I hate forgetting times for things as well. I need to tell myself one hundred times that I'm driving with Brockman tomorrow at 9:15 (crazy, I know!) and I still may forget it.
What is the bizarre cause behind my time obsession? Possibly my inability to read clocks, maybe my fear of forgetting or sleeping in, or maybe I may just have some form of OCD. I don't really know. I just know that time will always be there, and even as pointless as it may seem for me to know the time, it matters to me. somewhat. I actually personally wish I could care less whether I'm writing this at 11: 09 or 11:10, but for some odd reason I care WAY to much.
So there is my confession. I obsess over time. it's 11:11. make a wish.